ZAPoly Discussion Topic : Definitions
is love? What is a relationship? What is sex? What is dating? What is
friendship? Unknowlingly having different definitions of the same terms
can cause problems. Let's explore our definitions. Notes from a
How do we define sex?
Scarleteen article about defining sex http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2011/02/09/how_do_we_best_define_sex
We have individual definitions of sex and this means we need to be
specific with the
definition especially in a poly relationship
Making out vs. sex (safer
The following are examples are what some people may define as sex while
others may choose to
place into the making out category
The distinction between making out and sex is very personal and
partners should discuss these
things beforehand to avoid conflicts from different understandings.
- Oral sex
- Mutual masturbation
- No genital contact
- Activities that require STI testing
- Intent to cause orgasm
- Penetrative sex
How do we define cheating?
- Unilateral breaking of a relationship agreement
- Betraying trust
- Lying about something that would cause damage to the
- In monogamy someone is “just a friend” because there has
not been any physical
contact - does not excuse
What is a relationship and what is friendship?
What is dedication?
- Is it the same thing as commitment?
- Deciding what you want out of a relationship and doing things to support that
What is Honesty?
- It is about both big and small things in a relationship. Building
intimacy and building trust
comes from sharing all sorts of details.
- Most people lie through omission and it raises the question “ if you
can lie about his, what
else are you lying to me about?”
if you are scared of telling someone something then you probably
-- South African Polyamory http://www.polyamory.co.za
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